It's Just A Yellow Light
If you didn't get to read my post from last week (You Are Not Forgotten), I encourage you to hop on over there to get a little bit of the back story.
Several year ago, my dad sent me a little book called “Supernatural Childbirth” by Gary and Jackie Mize. This book is full of scripture, prayers and encouragements for couples who are trying to conceive. When Jackie and Gary first started dating and were seriously considering marriage, Jackie said to Gary, “There is something you need to know. I can’t have children.”
Gary responded, “Who said you can’t have children?”
“Well, God says you can!”
So after marrying, Gary and Jackie set out on a journey to find every scripture concerning childbearing and childbirth and compiled it into this little book.
They ended up having four children! And as a bonus, three out of four of those births were pain free! They believed, and so do I, that through what Christ did on the Cross, by taking the curse upon Himself and by the power of the Holy Spirit, that you can have a pain-free childbirth (more on that another time).
Soon after I read this book, several of my friends came to mind who were, like me, already mommies, but struggling to get pregnant again or had miscarried. So I formed a little Facebook group with these three friends, shared the scriptures and encouragements with them and poured my heart out to God on their behalf. Within a few months after I had completed this “mission”, I saw my one friend who had gone the route of IVF and she told me she was six weeks pregnant!
A few days later, as I was getting ready for the day, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper that my second friend was pregnant. Shortly after, her son (who I babysat at the time) walked into my house and exclaimed, “Mommy is pregnant!”
I excitedly replied, “I know!” These two friends were due on the exact same day!
About two months later, I again felt the Holy Spirit tell me my third friend was pregnant. I called her up, and said, “Hey, just checking in with you. Sorry, if this is awkward, but wondering how you guys are doing? Are you and your husband still trying to get pregnant?”
“Well, actually, right now we are on our way to our 9-week appointment!”
All three of these girls got pregnant within 5 weeks of each other! All three happened to have girls!
I thought for sure I was pregnant too, but it turned out…
Even so, I was incredibly excited for these friends and how God revealed Himself in such a powerful way. The first chance I had, I shared this testimony at church. There was a young couple visiting that day and as I was sharing this story, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to pray for them.
The couple slipped out shortly after church was over, but before they left the parking lot, my mother-in-law pointed out the door and said, “She wants you to pray for her!”
I ran out after her, “Caroline! Caroline, Linda said you want me to pray for you! I will!” So we friended each other on Facebook and I right away started messaging her the same scriptures, encouragements and prayers as I had with the other girls.
Within a couple of months, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper, “Caroline is pregnant.” So I got on Facebook and messaged her, just asking how she was doing. She responded with a very nonchalant response of “Good, how are you.” I realized in that moment that she didn’t even know! And sure enough, a couple months later, they made their announcement on Facebook and now have a beautiful little girl!
Because God Told Me So!
For a solid year after that, God revealed to me every woman in my circle who became pregnant before they made their announcements. I believe it was God’s grace upon me so that I could grieve for myself (briefly) and then be truly joyful for them when they did decide to share!
You see, it’s hard to watch someone else walk out something you are hoping for so bad! But I never want to make another woman feel bad or guilty for receiving the blessing of a child! I would never wish infertility on another person!
It's A Boy!
It had been a full year after I had first started praying over those three friends and two of them were due on my birthday!
I had become discouraged, believing the lie that God had forgotten about His promise to me…perhaps that He had forgotten ME.
It was my birthday week, so the church sang and prayed over me. When my mother-in-law opened her mouth to prophecy over me, she said, “I have picked a bouquet of forget-me-nots and I have put them in your hands and the blue shall be under your chin and others might see it for I shall put a smile upon your face and a song upon your heart.” This made me both laugh and cry! I was so moved and so joyous for the reminder that God had not forgotten me!
One of my friends then also shared with me that, while praying, she saw a teddy bear with a blue bowtie.
So, I guess we all know what gender our next child will be…
Not long after that, I was taking a nap at home on my couch. While I was napping, I had a vision that I opened my eyes and there standing in front of me was my son, about the age of three or four, with a beaming smile on his face. He had blond hair and blue eyes and looked just like Nuriah!
I had shared all of this with my dad and one day, out of the blue, He called me up and said, “So what’s his name?”
I said, “Whose name?”
“What are you talking about dad?”
“Call that which is not as if it is so.” (Romans 4:17)
So, since then, Nate and I have been trying to come up with a name for our little guy, but we were never really in agreement on anything.
It’s been 2-1/2 years since that prophecy. Many friends have had children. I feel like I am surrrounded by little boys!
Is it hard? You bet! Are there times that I have felt bitterness try to take root? You bet!
But...He's NEVER Going to Let Me Down!
So, one day, as I was leading worship at Bible Study, we were singing the song, “King of My Heart”. You all know the bridge that says, “You’re never gonna let, never gonna let me down.” Apparently I was singing my heart out because an acquaintance came up to me afterwards and confessed that she didn’t know how I could sing that song knowing what I was going through. She said that during the song when we started singing that part, she looked over at me and I had this beaming smile on my face, but how could I sing that when I am going through this hardship? I said, “Oh, Dear, because it’s true! He’s NEVER going to let me down!”
So where are we at with this little boy? This last year, again on my birthday, a friend of mine said she heard the Lord say, “Hope deferred will be broken.” I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant for me, but her husband spoke up and said, “Yeah, that’s a really great scripture from Proverbs 12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”
So my hope…this child, who we have been waiting for for so long...the deferment will be broken, it will end! My desire is coming!
The next day, I was at work and this boy’s name popped in my head and like a broken record, it just kept scrolling through my mind over and over. It was almost to the point that I was getting bothered by it. So finally, I just stopped and looked up its meaning.
Can you guess what the meaning of this name is?
THE HOPE OF THE LORD!
So, we know we are having a boy, we know what his name will be, we just don’t know when he is coming.
Joy and the Yellow Light
That was last April and in July at a Camp Meeting we attend, the theme of the week was JOY! We had a lot of great speakers, one of whom was Pastor Matt Kroll. He shared with us that the week before, every time he drove through the city, he kept hitting every single yellow light! After a couple days of this, he started to get a little frustrated, but finally told the devil that he was not going to steal his joy! So for the rest of that week, every time he hit a yellow light, he gave thanks to the Lord and started feeling joy in the wait!
Then it hit me, that is all this is! It’s just a yellow light! It’s the longest yellow light ever, but it’s just a yellow light! It WILL eventually turn green!
In the meantime, I will give thanks and choose joy. After all, it is in the wait that I continually find my faith unfolding! So I'm going to hold on to faith and hope a little longer! Because I know my God is faithful and He is NEVER going to let me down!
What are the yellow lights in your lives right now? What in your life has been on pause? Can I challenge you, in the midst of this waiting, to choose joy? To give thanks? To rejoice in your yellow light?
Nehemiah 8:10 says, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”
It’s not saying, “Lord, give me strength so I can have joy!” It’s I am going to choose joy, and through the joy, because my joy is in and for the Lord, I will have strength!
So...Choose Joy. Be strengthened. Be encouraged! Hold on a little longer!
He loves you so incredibly much!